Dishing out sass 24/7. Welcome to the Heist.
  • i-once-had-a-guy-tell-me:

    I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.

    (submitted by anonymous)

    (via emmmmmme)

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  • h0llaween:

    yea dude I drink a lot. Drink at parties all the time. yea you heard right, 9 capri suns. 9. in 45 minuets.

    (via emmmmmme)

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  • allamericanheroine:

    asriels:

    boys still call girls weak but many girls voluntarily pull parts of their own eyebrows off their faces by sheer force on a regular basis who the hell do they think they’re calling weak

    #dont even get me started on bikini waxing

    (via emmmmmme)

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  • 00davo:

    astound:

    SO HARD NOT TO DANCE WHEN YOU HAVE EARPHONES ON WALKING BY YOURSELF

    (via the-real-actual-doctor)

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  • ilovecoffeeandcats:

    superzombieprincess:

    that-dude-with-the-voice:

    consulting-violinist:

    tepidjudgement:

    magicandnonsense:

    twilit-moon:

    dimedog:

    want

    Ummm…YES

    NEED.

    how to fuck with hunters 101

    you could totally get away with murder with these literally i mean if you got blood on the soles and made a trail people would probably just think it was an animal attack

    Tumblr is officially full of psychopaths.

    There is a fine line between psychopath and genius. People on Tumblr play jump-rope with this line.

    That …was beautiful.

    (Source: brain-food, via josefksays)

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  • seawitchintraining:

    Seriously like two days ago Cee-Lo Green admitted to drugging and raping a woman in 2012. He deleted his twitter account because hes admitted hes guilty and that he doesnt think raping that woman was wrong bc he drugged her first WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS.

    (via zebrasrus)

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  • thisgingerisdonewithurshit:

    • joins tumblr to pass time
    • becomes a radical feminist

    (via anonymousbuttoucher)

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  • lareinaana:

    cracked:

    sorenbowie:

    codyjohnston:

    shinji-kun69:

    Don’t ever fucking try to tell me that white people aren’t targeted and discriminated against for the color of their skin. Don’t ever try to fucking say that ANYONE has never been discriminated against. If you want fucking justice, then ACT on that justice.

    HI UM NOPE

    This headline is the deformed offspring of lies, bad reporting, and a Getty Image from 2012 taken after a man was beaten by police at the Occupy Wall Street protests.

    The article cites no sources and reads like a Facebook Aunt telling a story they heard from their son’s buddy Taylor, most likely because it’s a poorly-paraphrased version of this also false article that calls itself ”White Man Cold-Cocked By Vicious Ferguson Mob In Blatant Racist Attack.” Money quote from the article:

    Most recently, a man was simply standing outside of a St. Louis McDonald’s where he was surrounded by a group of black man who punched the man in the face for no reason whatsoever. Seemingly unprovoked, the group intentionally targeted this man for nothing more than his skin color in a backwards attempt at justice for Mike Brown.”

    Ah, yes, the classic “for no reason whatsoever” immediately followed by “for nothing more than his skin color in a backwards attempt at justice for Mike Brown” trick. That old reporting chestnut.

    Anyway. The tale of an entire mob attacking this man was

    followed up by showing these tweets, where the story originated:

    image

    This is all from the same article, mind you. There’s a paragraph describing a mob of black men attacking this white guy, and then they show the actual source describing a single black man punching the guy in the face once. Also? The Knockout Game doesn’t exist.

    ALSO also?

    image

    So really, “Black Man Punches White Man In Face, Other Black Men Try To Apprehend Black Man Who Punched White Man In Face,” because Ferguson’s hero-to-asshole ratio is actually through the fucking roof.

    And yet…

    image

    Anyway. It sucks that the guy got punched a couple weeks ago, but if you’re going to lie about it, try being just so much better at lying.

    Cracked shouldn’t be the “journalists” catching this kind of thing. If you read something that sounds outrageous but tickles that part of your brain that wants it to be true, there’s a good chance it’s made up specifically to do that tickling. Take twenty minutes to research it before sharing or you sound like an idiot.

    We can de-bullshit you on this kind of stuff but honestly it’s getting exhausting.

    "Shinjikun69"

    (via dinamicduo)

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    • lady gaga: i hate feminist
    • white feminist: wow such a feminist Icon!
    • Joan River: i hate feminist
    • white feminist: wow RIP joan. such a feminist Icon
    • Beyonce: Im a feminist
    • white feminist: whore. why did you name your concert after you HUSBAND hhhmmmm? leak your address
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  • to-be-a-lost-boy:

    tardisinwonderland:

    necromander:

    Be careful what you wish for.

    Wow what I never realized the colors were inverted

    You’d think I would have noticed that

    That’s the point. The world Coraline lives in is supposed to be boring and gray, but the people are what give it life and purpose. In the Other Mother’s world the people are plastic puppets where she pulls the strings because it presumably changes for every child she takes, but the world around them is bright and colorful for the purpose of enticing the children to stay… before they notice the inhabitants are nothing but dust.

    that was deep

    (Source: medimeedes, via 20centuriesnosebleed)

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